much has happened yet again

Ok, so I am once again going to make a commitment to write in this thing more. I am in the middle of a break even stretch, I was up 10 buy ins and now -1 buy in and all of this happened in just about 8k hands. I am trying really hard to not get frustrated, but instead to think of it as, "hey shit happens."

The last night of January I played a session where I made 5 buy ins, since then all my sessions have been terrible. I really don't feel that I am playing bad, I am playing pretty tight and trying to pay off less, I am not sure what else to do. My goal is to play 25-30k hands this month, I want to put in a big sample so I can have a decent look at how I am playing. The way things are going though I might be broke before that happens.

Since Melissa and I bought the house we decided to try and rescue a puppy. We had been wanting a playmate for Bella for sometime and decided that it would be nice to rescue a dog. I went to a pet fair on Sunday and after talking with Melissa, we decided to adopt Tucker, a pointer mix that someone had rescued from euthanasia at a pound. I was so excited and with a nose full of the sweet puppy smell I took him to meet Melissa at work and she promptly fell in love.

Bella was not on the same page. Tucker wanted to play and she wasn't having it at all. She wasn't aggressive, just very, "leave me alone." We put them in seperate crates that first night fully prepared to hear him cry but his crying made her cry as well. It was a very long night and so was the next night. There was a big change in our current situation, we are never home, ever. When we got Bella, Melissa was able to come home for lunch every day and get her out of the crate and take her out. Since we are further away now that is not possible. I have a job that has really long shifts and we decided that it was not fair for a puppy. We decided to give the dog back to his foster mom.

I feel like a complete asshole, but it was the right thing to do. It is crazy how attached we both were after such a short period of time. We are going to look into getting a puppy that is 6-9 months old instead of 9 weeks. I am really depressed about it, I hate my job and I hate even more that it limits the rest of my life so much. Forget the puppy, what would happen if we had a child??

This realization along with my shitty poker sessions the past few days are doing a number on my confidence and overall demeanor, but what can you do. I am just going to play through it.

That is it for now.